“Stand for something. Make your life mean something. Start where you are with what you have. You are enough.” ― Germany Kent
Clear is Kind
Why are so many addicted to wanting more? It astounds me how the word “want” can control the modern mind. Wanting more appears to be today’s default setting.
Is “wanting” more simply frustrations with the seemingly endless choices we must make through the ever-closing window of time? English novelist Matt Haig stated in his book, Notes on a Nervous Planet “But while choice is infinite, our lives have time spans. We can’t live every life. We can’t watch every film or read every book or visit every single place on this sweet earth. Rather than being blocked by it, we need to edit the choice in front of us. We need to find out what is good for us and leave the rest. We don’t need another world. Everything we need is here, if we give up thinking we need everything.”
Is it therefore time you audit your life and your constant desire for wanting more. Re-set that mindset - instead of wanting more, consider being more.
Be more compassionate and gentler with yourself. Stop looking for external validation through the accumulation of things and via the vexatious opinions of others. Realise that your greatness and your true humanity comes from deep within. Being attentive and gentler with yourself is not an act of self-indulgence, it is an act of self-fullness and respect.
Be more present in the NOW. Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you actually forget to live. You didn’t come here to be perfect through the exhausting exploration to want more. You already are. You came here to be and feel whole. You came here to be gorgeously human, flawed and fabulous.
Be more human in every imaginable way. We can’t achieve true happiness it we don’t aspire to be decent Christians and truly good citizens. In this life I encourage everyone to search to be truly human – to feel, to be attentive to self, to give generously, to receive, to laugh, to dance, to get lost, to be found and to love - self, place and the other.
When you turn your piercing, critical eye towards your own life—neither able to defend nor look away it is time to focus on your inner truth, your true north.
If, when you are prepared to look deep within, you use words like can’t, or tomorrow or but when referring to your self-worth, because of what you don’t have, check yourself and change your mindset. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself to a nervous collapse.
Re-frame your excuses for simply being you. Transform them from impossible roadblocks into challenges that encourage authentic contemplation and personal inner growth. Seeing the big picture is more than just discovering your why. Find what you want in all areas of your life and see where each of your goals fit into that framework.
Remember that a coward is a person who avoids meaningful inner truth exploration and engages in actions that simply foster fear. A courageous person is one who finds meaning by tackling it head-on and honours their truth.
I had the pleasure of hearing American Research Professor and Author Brené Brown speak in Sydney this week. She spoke about the fact that sure, life can be scary and difficult at times. And that living abundantly calls each of us to have tough conversations and brave hearts with self. Nonetheless never lose sight that courage is contagious and requires us to take a leap of faith by turning up and being brave enough to abandon our amour and become the man (or woman) in the arena, a reference to this famous 1910 quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Self-love. Selflessness love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling in uncertainty and risk. Demonstrated through the beauty of being emotionally exposed by messing up. Often. This is the power of vulnerability.
So what voice are you listening to today? Turn off all the negative white noise and listen to all that is your possibility. Because being clear about your possibility is being kind to one self. As Brown stated at her Sydney event this week, “clear is kind”.
Brown talked about the notion that you cannot get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. And in her book Dare to Lead Brown stated, “Choose courage over comfort. Choose whole hearts over armour. And choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid. At the exact same time.”
Haig states, “… but wanting is also lacking. That is what ‘want’ means.” Understand that life does not owe you anything. The way I see things is that each morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them. Chase that inner truth. This courage to honour self is contagious. By actively participating in all that life offers you’ll find ways to contribute to humanity in the most authentic ways.
If you are not the hero of your own story you are missing the whole point of your humanity. Don’t want to be like someone who already exists. Enjoy your difference. Choose the courage to know that you are enough.
And live a life where you are prepared to always show up and dare greatly.
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Ebury Publishing. London, United Kingdom.
Haig, M. (2019). Notes on a Nervous Planet. Canongate Books Ltd, Edinburgh, United Kingdom.